


D - Demons and Donkeys

by Infernos



Series: The Asinine Alphabet [1]
Category: Christian Bible (Old Testament)
Genre: Children of Characters, Demons, Gen, Other, Trials
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-06-15
Updated: 2018-06-15
Packaged: 2019-05-23 13:51:59
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,806
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14935509
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Infernos/pseuds/Infernos
Summary: A demon performs his test of manhood to prove he is worthy to lead his fathers legions. Things don't go quite as planned, and nothing is as it seems.





	D - Demons and Donkeys

The predawn light was just starting to brighten the sky as the old man opened his back door. Each morning he awoke before the sunrise and made himself a cup of tea and some toast. He took these with him to a small cafe table in his garden and waited for the sun to rise. He had been doing this for what seemed an eternity, but each sunrise brought something new. This day would be no different. 

He quietly nibbled on his toast and sipped his tea as the sun broke the horizon and his small farm saw the first light of day. The chickens started clucking as they left their roost and started scratching the ground in search of food. His one old horse shuffled in his stall, stomping his foot, but patiently waiting for his morning oats and hay. The nanny goat and her kid that shared the other stall started pushing at the door to be let out into their pen. 

When the sun was fully risen, he took his plate and cup back to his humble kitchen and set about his morning chores of feeding the animals. He tossed some feed out for the chickens and then let the goats out for the day. The kid quickly took off running and jumping around his pen. He was a happy little guy and full of energy. Usually he annoyed his mother all morning and exhausted himself by noon. After suffering his antics she normally laid down in the shade and napped for a few hours until he was up and jumping around again. With them taken care of, the old man led his horse out and put his feed in the trough for him. While the horse ate contently, the man brushed him and checked his hooves for wear. It was a slow process, and usually by the time he was finished, he needed to rest for a while before attending to his small garden. 

When he finally finished with the horse, he went back inside for a cool glass of water and a small plate of cheese and olives. He returned to his small table with his drink and snack plate and nibbled while he watched a family of sparrows feed their newly hatched chicks. It was a beautiful day and he was thankful for each one he had experience over his long life. 

Once again, he took his glass and plate back to his kitchen and grabbed his thin gloves in preparation for weeding his garden. As he rounded the small shed where his horse and goats spent the night, he ran into a small black creature climbing his fence. 

“Hello, little shadow. What brings you to my humble farm?” He asked. 

“You know of my kind?” The small being asked sharply. It looked to be the size of child around the age of eight, but was black all over with small horns on the forehead. 

“Well, I’m very old and when you’ve lived as long as I have, you see a lot of things.” He replied sweetly. “Are you on a quest?”

“No. this is my test of manhood. If I pass, I will mature to my next form. If I fail, I will be tested again, and again, until I pass” The small demon replied, looking at the old man with a toothy grin. 

“Oh my. The test of manhood is a very serious thing for young shadows. How can I assist you?” The old man asks, leaning up against the fence for support. 

“My father has command that my first test will be to slay a donkey using only my magic.”

“A donkey? That seems like such a trivial thing for a brave young shadow like yourself.” The old man says. 

“Don’t pander to me. You may be old, but you are not wise. You may have met my kind, but you know nothing of us. I am thousands of years old. My father is a fool and this is a waste of my time. I should be training his legions and instead he sends me off to kill some stupid farm animal.”

“I meant no offense. You are right. I am an old man, and maybe not so wise, but I have witnessed the testing of other shadows. Perhaps I can offer you some feeble assistance while you are here.” The old man replies, sounding almost sarcastic with his tone. 

The small demon glares at him, then climbs down from the fence. “You can show me to your donkey so I can get this nonsense over with;” 

“Well, then you happen to be in luck. I am the caretaker of the king of donkeys” The old man says as he beckons the young demon to follow him down the path behind the barn. It leads to another pen. On the far side is a 4 hoofed beast with large curling horns on its head.

“The king of donkeys?” The demon asks. “I’ve never heard of such a thing.”

“He is a cantankerous beast with a miserable attitude. Look at those huge horns. He has slain many demons with them and they are darkened with their blood. Do you think he is a suitable enemy for your trial of manhood?” The old man asks as he nears the gate to the pen. 

“It makes no difference if he is a king or not. I am the son of the Devil himself. He is nothing more than a beast of burden. I will destroy him and bathe in his blood before returning home to my father’s side” The demon with a dismissive wave of his hand. “Stand watch while I slay this beast.”

There is a small stool by the gate, so the old man pulls it over into the shade of a nearby tree and sits down on it. “I’ll be happy to be rid of him, so I will gladly bear witness to your victory.”

The demon crawls up on the fence and surveys the pen. The beast looks up at him once, then goes back to munching the weeds at his feet. Balancing himself on the post, the demon starts to chant. He gathers his magic into a fiery ball and sends it flying across the pen. It slams into the beast and dissipates as if it was nothing more than a puff of smoke. He tries again, this time bringing both hands above his head and gathering a ball of fire twice the size as before. He sends it hurtling across the pen, and once again it dissolves into nothing as it hits the beast in the side. 

“Tricky” The demon says. “I have plenty more where that came from. I will destroy him!” Again he starts chanting, his voice taking a darker tone and he calls his power to bear. This time a sphere of blackness forms in the air. The grass under it wilts from the malevolent power it contains. “Beware foul horned beast. Your reign is over!.” The demon yells as he hurls the darkness at the unsuspecting animal standing at the far end of the pen. The darkness streaks across the pen, and envelopes the poor unsuspecting animal. For a second it is shrouded in darkness and then that too dissipates as if it were nothing but the wind. The horned animal shakes itself and notices that the grass around it is now dead. Without paying any attention to the demon, it walks a few feet away and starts nibbling at the end of a small bundle of hay. 

The demon growls in frustration and looks at the old man. He simply shrugs and says “I told you he was powerful.”

The demon jumps down and stalks over to him, looking him over from head to toe. “Are you interfering old man? I won’t hesitate to slay you if you are.” 

“Youngling, some days I feel older than the hills, but I’m far from ready to die. If I was, I would have asked you for a merciful death the moment you arrived. I have nothing to gain by interfering in your trial. The only power I seem to have is observing the passing of time, and I’ve seen a lot of it.”

“Stop your prattling old fool. I may slay you just to save my ears.” the demon snaps as he stalks away and climbs back up to the top of the fence. 

The demon tries again, and the result is the same. Nothing happens, and the horned beast continues to ignore him. Again, and again, the small demon gathers up fiery balls of power and the donkey ignores them as if nothing happened at all. Hours pass and the old man nods off while the demon hurls curses and bolts of lightning at the all powerful beast. Hunger finally wakes him and the old man gets up for his afternoon snack. 

“Where are you going?” The demon demands.

“I’m old. I don’t have endless energy like you, so I need to eat. Would you like me to bring you something?” The old man asks politely, shading his eyes from the noon sun. 

“Whatever you have.” He snaps back. As the old man walks away, the demon circles the top of the pen, lightly jumping from one post to another. He’s surveying the beast that has defied his magic time and time again. He continues to curse and chant and hurl all types of magic spells across the pen. 

Some time later, the old man returns with a picnic basket and a blanket that he spreads out under the tree. As he finishes setting the food out, the little demon finally notices he has returned and climbs down from the fence. 

“What took you so long? Even a demon could starve to death while you stumble about”

“I thought I would prepare something fitting for a guest. I hope my meager offerings will be suitable for you.” The old man says with a smile as he lowers himself to the ground and opens the picnic basket. He puts out a few containers of fruit, a plate of sandwiches, and a tall bottle of sparkling water. While he does the demon drops himself to the ground and starts to rummage through the containers. 

“Meager offering, indeed. You call this shit a meal?” He picks up the fruit and noisily eats a section of cantaloupe, then he grabs a sandwich and shoves the whole thing into his mouth. He makes a complete mess of the ground surrounding him. He proceeds to drink the entire bottle of water, leaving none for the old man. When he finishes that, he belches loudly and without any further attention to the old man, he climbs back up the fence.

“Beware foul beast, your end is upon you.” He screams across the pen. 

He climbs down into the pen, and starts to draw symbols in the ground. With each completed symbol, the earth under it turns black and starts to spread out towards his opponent on the other side. He moves forward, and when he has reached the middle of the pen, he raises his arms to the sky and starts to scream. Black clouds boil in and block out the sun. Wind starts to blow. One direction, then another, and soon it starts to swirl around the pen. When his screaming reaches a fevered pitch, lightning strikes the ground in front of the animal, who has now turned to stare at him. One last bolt of lightning strikes the beast on his tail. He twitches it, gives the small demon a long suffering look, and lowers his head to continue eating what grows in front of him. 

The demon starts to scream and howl in anger. He starts to swear, calling the beast unmentionable things. Bolt after bolt of magic he throws, but the results are the same. Nothing happens at all. With each spell he casts he gets more and more angry, eventually screaming hysterically at the great beast. He stops over towards it and the beast finally turns his head, giving him his full attention. When the demon stops in the middle of the pen, the beast turns his body to face him looking at him as if taunting him, daring him to take another step forward. 

“Bring it on, beast. I WILL slay you!” He screams in fury. “I will bathe in your blood and wear your entrails as a belt.” He take a step forward and the beast charges. Head down, he rushes towards the small demon. The demon raises his arms to cast his spell, but he is too late. The beast slams into him head first, sending him crashing back against the fence. When he stands again, the beast is standing there in the middle of the pen, eating what grass the demon hadn’t managed to kill. 

“I will kill you!” The demon screams as he raises his arm and runs forward. His small fingers turning into razor sharp claws. As he runs, the horned beast turns around with his backside facing his oncoming opponent. When the demon gets close enough, the beast gives a mighty kick with his back legs, catching the demon square in the chest. He flies up into the air, over the fence surrounding the pen and into the tree where the old man had been sitting before. He hangs there for a second, then falls straight down, face first into a fresh strawberry pie the old man had pulled out of his basket. 

“DADDY!” The young demon screams. He rolls over, his black face covered in smashed strawberries and red syrup. “Daddy!” He yells again before he burst into tears. 

There is a loud crack, and a much larger demon appears. He holds his hand up to shield his eyes from the bright sun and looks down at the crying demon. He snatches up the small demon and holds him before him. 

“What have you done?” He demands of the child. 

The child is crying so hard that all he can get out is a few words between his wracking sobs. “Donkey, slay, beast, powerful.”  


“Silence!” The large demon commands. The child stops his sobbing, but tears continue to roll down his cheeks. “What have you done?” He demands again.

The child hiccups for a few seconds, then chokes it down and says “My test of manhood was to kill a donkey with only my magic. The old man said it was the King of Donkeys, so I used every spell I know for donkeys and nothing worked. I lost my temper and went after him with my claws, but he kicked me.”

“What is on your face?”

“I fell out of the tree and landed in a pie”

“Let me get this straight. You were sent to slay a donkey, but instead it kicked you into a tree and you landed face first in a pie?” The large demon asks, a huge smile cracking his face. 

The small demon mumbled something and in return the large demon pulled him closer. Growling in his face, he asks “What did you say to me?”

“Nothing.” He mutters. 

“Good choice of words. Only a child of mine would end up in such a mess. Now show me this powerful beast that defeats a demon child” He says, dropping the child to the ground. He quickly picks himself up and runs to the fence behind his father.

“Here he is. I tried everything, but nothing worked at all.”

The large demon looked at the great beast with curved horns and then down at his child. He’s quiet for a moment, then turns to the old man. “My child has shamed me with his ignorance. Tell me sir, was he kind to you during his time here?”

The old man looks up at the large demon towering over him. “Not particularly, but I saw a lot of my own child in him, so I let it pass without comment. He is rude, arrogant, and impatient. Very much like my own son.”

“You shame me, and you have failed your test.”

“But Daddy, what did I do wrong?” The small demon cries, looking up at his father. 

“What did you do wrong? Where should I start son of mine? You were arrogant and rude to the man while you were a guest on his property. Setting that aside for a moment, you lost due to your own ignorance. That isn’t a donkey, you stupid child. That is a goat.” 

The small demon turns quickly on the old man. “You said he was the king of donkeys. You lied to me. I should kill you where you stand.” He takes a few steps forward before the large demon snatches him back up into the air. 

“You will not touch him, now, or ever. You have shamed me, now return home and hide behind your mothers skirts for another thousand years before you can try again” He says angrily. He drops the small demon child and before he hits the ground, it opens up into a black hole. The child falls through, screaming “Daddy!” before it closes up, cutting off his protest.

“My apologies sir. He is the light of my life, but he is a disappointment as well. I taught him manners, but he chooses to be rude. I taught him humility and instead he chooses to be arrogant. I have failed him as a parent. I hope he wasn’t too much of a burden to you.” 

“Not at all. Would you care to join me for a snack. I have another pie here that appears to be undamaged.” The old man asks, pointing to the picnic basket still sitting on the ground behind him. 

“Thank you. I appreciate your courtesy. I rarely get to the realm of man these days. I hesitate to ask, but how is it you know of our kind?” The demon asks. 

The old man pulls out the second pie, and settles himself on the ground, while motioning to the demon to do the same. He pulls out two plates and cuts large slices of the pie before handing one to the demon sitting across from him. 

“I’m old. As I told your son. I’ve seen many things in my long life. Nothing is a surprise to me anymore.” 

“What an interesting experience it must be to live for so short a time. You humans have lives that pass in the blink of an eye for me. I as almost as old as the heavens, and eternity looms before me, yet in so short a time, you actually manage to live, where I feel like I just exist.” The demon says with a tone of sorrow in his voice. 

“Do you have many children?” The old man asks. 

“A hoard of them it seems. The little one was my last born, but he has been a handful.”

“I have several sons. They are my pride and joy. My first born was the light of my life. I know it’s not fair to the others, but he was my special one. He had such promise, but he was such a disappointment. He was arrogant, prideful, demanding, and ignorant of the world around him.”

The demon looks up at the old man. He doesn’t say anything, for a moment, and then whispers, “Father?” 

The old man smiles, and then starts to glow. Within seconds, his form has disappeared into the light. “Lucifer, my bright morning star, I’ve missed you so” a voice says from within the light.

“Oh father, I am so ashamed.” The demon says, bowing his head before the glowing light. 

The light fades and the old man is there once again. “Be at peace my child”

The demon is quiet for some time, then looks to the old man. “Is the end near? Will my punishment finally be over?”

“Your punishment is over when you choose it to be” He says. 

“But how do I pay the debt of my sins?”

“Your only debt is to yourself. Your punishment is self inflicted. Leaving it behind depends only on your own forgiveness. When you are ready, you will pay that debt to yourself and move forward.” The old man says kindly. “When you are ready to come home, you will.”

“Now I understand. The disappointment you feel over me, is what I feel for my own child. I have such hopes for him, but he takes the wrong path at each turn.” 

“Forgiveness comes in time, and with it, a lesson that even I needed to learn.” The old man says. “I put my children out into the world, expecting them to do only what I demanded of them, and for the most part they did. Except for you. You, my bright shining star, you did what you wanted. You took the free will I gave you, and you ran with it. It angered me, oh did it anger me. Now, I look back and realize that you did what you thought was right, even though we disagree on it. Don’t be too hard on your own child. He is doing what he is destined to, even if it is not what you wanted, or hoped for.”

“Thank you, father.” The demon says, standing up and offering his hand to the old man. The old man takes it and pulls himself up. 

“Will I see you again?” The demon asks. 

“I am here and everywhere, you need only look” The old man says, reaching up to cup the side of the demons face. 

“I must go before things truly go to hell at home. Can I ask one more question before I go?” 

“Certainly, my son.” The old man replies. 

“Did you actually lie about the donkey. Clearly this is a goat” He says, pointing to the pen. The goat has come over to the side of the fence. His head is down and he’s eating more weeds.

“Me, lie? I thought that was your department?” The old man says with a laugh. “No, I didn’t lie. He is a blue ribbon, prize winning goat, and his registered name is Dominick, The Donkey King. I told your son he is the King of Donkeys. I never said he was one.”

The demon chuckles as the ground below him starts to turn black and split open. “Always having the last laugh.” 

“I do what I must.” The old man says as he steps back from the growing black hole. “If you want to have the last laugh, tell your child that I’m his grandfather.”

The demon laughs as the ground opens up below him. “Until we meet again, Father” he says as he sinks out of sight.

**Author's Note:**

> This is a chapter of a larger work in progress. Each chapter is a short story, based on letters of the alphabet. The others have original characters. Some based on family members or friends. Don't worry, the names have been changed to protect the not so innocent. None of the stories are connected, so I thought I would post this as a stand alone work. I'm not a religious person, so take of it what you will. It was a fun idea. You may not repost this without my permission.


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